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Nikko Coloso - Konoha Chuunin
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jyuuken01
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:07 am    Post subject: Nikko Coloso - Konoha Chuunin Reply with quote

Name: Nikko Coloso
Age: 18
Gender: male
Height: 5'10
Weight: 130

Appearance:
Spoiler:


Nikko is tanned, a nice shade of tan brown and his attire is simple. His shirt is fitted and sleeveless. It has a single silver stripe about an inch wide running down the middle of the front and the back.  The konoha headband is tied at his neck like a necklace. His shorts have one main pocket on each side and  two minor pockets. Theres white bandage on his right leg and a ninja pouch on top of that in perfect length of his arms making it easy to pull out weapons or supplies. Both his ankles are covered in white bandages and he wears konoha battle sandals. On his right shoulder is the kanji symbol for "Brave", and on his left shoulder is the kanji symbol for "Live" both tatted in white ink. He clearly has a spear attached to his back and he leaves the blade bandaged when not in use.



    Race: Native American
    Hair: black and shaved
    Eyes: a distinct brown, darker than his skin tone and stands out.
    Body: athletic, toned. His body seems perfectly proportioned but his arms and biceps are the biggest physical features
    Ethnicity: Land of Fire



Rank: A-rank
Village: Konoha

    Fame: 690
    Title: Chuunin

Bloodline: N/A
Main/Favored Weapon: none
Element: Earth
Fighting Type/Style:
Genjutsu - Specialist
Ninjutsu - Minor

Starting Inventory: X1 Ryuteki, X20 senbon, X10 kunai, X10 Shuriken,Goukimaru [Pet-nin]

Personality:

Confidence is Nikko's best virtue, and can be his worst enemy and at times his confidence can blind him. When fighting with companions, he prefers fighting behind the lines to catch someone in a genjutsu, when fighting alone, he prefers fighting head on with taijutsu. He isn't exactly blood-hungry, but he understands that it came with the job contract, and will do whatever he has to do to look out for his companions at all times. His loyalty, faith, and friendships are with ninja who bare the Konoha symbol on his or her headband, and to its citizens. If he ever came across a missing-nin of his village (other than his sister), he will immediately engage in combat.

Nikko is highly sociable and gets along with anybody who can deal with his extreme straightforwardness. He gets into a lot of arguments, and he enjoys a good debate.  His confidence and his straightforwardness sometimes causes him to talk down to people, when though he only means to help.
   
On his freetime you could always find him bettering himself training, relaxing by looking up in the clouds, dining at Yakiniku (Japanese all you can eat barbecue), or at home with his family working with his father as an assistant blacksmith.



Special Abilities:

Name: Infinite Dream
Requirements: Genjutsu Major or Higher or Ijutsu Specialist, 2 or more Genjutsu. (4Pt training)
Description:
This ability simply allows the user to stack up 2 to 3 genjutsu on an opponent at once. It causes a crazy effect that makes the second genjutsu look extremely real as once the opponent releases the first genjutsu, they are automatically thrown into the second one without them noticing. For example: The user casts genjutsu 1 on a person, then while they're in genjutsu 1, the user casts genjutsu 2 to stack onto the first one. When the opponent dispels the first one, they are thrown into genjutsu 2 without their knowledge.

Jutsus:-Five extra slots gained in "Cosmic Alignment" Event.
Spoiler:


Name: Bunshin no Jutsu - Clone Technique
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: E (Basic)
Requirements: None
Description: Bunshin no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique which every ninja learns at the Ninja Academy. The Bunshin technique creates a copy of the ninja without substance. The copy resembles the ninja in every way. This clone can function as a distraction or as means to confuse one's opponent. As soon the Bunshin gets attacked or comes into contact with an opponent, it will disperse.

Name: Henge no Jutsu - Transformation Technique
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: E (Basic)
Requirements: None
Description: Henge no Jutsu is a ninjutsu technique which every ninja learns at the Ninja Academy. Henge allows the ninja to transform themselves into any person or object. This allows the ninja to move with stealth or to trick their opponents. However, it does not grant one the properties of said objects or skills of that person, meaning turning into a weapon will not allow you to cut an opponent and turning into a dog will not give you a great sense of smell.
This technique can also be used in conjunction with someone, who may a person, a pet or a summoning creature, in which case it is called Konbi Henge (Combination Transformation). However, its principles remain the same.

Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu - Body Substitution Technique
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: E (Basic)
Requirements: None
Description: Kawarimi no Jutsu is a basic Ninjutsu technique. When in danger the ninja will quickly substitute themself with another nearby object. This can be a block of wood or even another person. This allows the ninja to quickly flee and hide while the original object takes the brunt of their opponents attack. Naturally, it won't work with another person unless their skill gap is enormous, and the object to replace oneself with must be close in size and weight to the ninja themselves. This technique must be set up a little ahead when fighting skilled opponents, otherwise, you may end up getting struck because you wouldn't have enough time to use it.

Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu - Escaping Skill
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: D
Requirements: None
Description: A very basic skill, without which a shinobi would become the laughing stock of the village. It allows them to escape ropes and similar simple restraints. However, advanced knots and heavier restraints than a simple rope may be too much for a basic skill like this to handle.

Name: Kinobori no Waza - Act of Tree Climbing
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Requirements: None
Description: A skill that every self-respecting shinobi must have. It is based on concentrating chakra to the soles of one's feet and using it to stick to objects, which would allow one to walk on vertical surfaces and even upside down. This is also often used as chakra control training, since the soles of the feet are said to be the hardest place to control your chakra.

Name: Kokohi no Jutsu - False Place Technique
Type: Genjutsu - visual
Rank: D
Requirements: None
Description: This simple illusionary technique changes the appearance of a nearby object slightly, for example, it can make small objects invisible, change the text on something or make some object have slightly different shape. The object will regain its original appearance after the jutsu is released, dispelled or, in case it changed the shape or visibility of an object, touched on purpose.

Name: Suzu no Oto - Sound of Bells
Type: Genjutsu - aural
Rank: D
Requirements: A musical instrument or a bell
Description: By putting some chakra into the bell as the shinobi rattles it or when playing an instrument, they cast this genjutsu upon their opponent. It makes the target see multiple copies of the user, which can confuse them in terms who to attack and what to dodge. However, it is not hard to figure out because the copies have a set displacement compared to the user.

Name: Nehan Shouja no Jutsu - Temple of Nirvana Technique
Type: Genjutsu - visual
Rank: B
Requirements: None
Description: After the user forms the necessary hand seals, large white feathers will start falling in the surrounding area. This technique makes the victim fall asleep within a few seconds and can be used on many targets at once. Interestingly, one can resist the effects of this technique without any special skills, simply by forcing themselves to stay awake for the several seconds while the genjutsu is taking effect, though it is very hard and requires them to be rested. The slumber is not exactly natural and can only be interrupted the same way as you would dispel a genjutsu within ten minutes after the target falls asleep, but after that, they can be woken up normally.

Name: Mateki: Mugen Onsa - Demon Flute: Illusion Tune Chains
Type: Genjutsu - aural
Rank: B
Requirements: A musical instrument
Description: This genjutsu does not require any hand seals, but instead takes some skill playing a musical instrument of some sort to produce sound waves. Upon hearing the tune, the target will find themselves in a strange place filled with red sand, with their limbs bound by strings that hang from the sky. They will then think that their flesh is melting off their bones, which is frightening and painful.

Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza - Act of Water Surface Walking
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Requirements: Kinobori
Description: A more advanced technique than Kinobori, it allows one to walk on water or other similar liquid or amorphous objects. It is used in a similar fashion to its predecessor, but the shinobi must also release a constant flow of chakra into the water to keep themselves on its surface. It is often used as advanced chakra control training, since it takes the same basic concept as tree climbing technique and kicks it up a notch.

Name: Kohan Kai (Widespread Release)
Type: Genjutsu
Rank: B
Requirements: Really Good Chakra control, Genjutsu major/specialist, Kai(Release)
Description: Basically, it is a spread out version of Kai (Release). When the user performs the required handseals, it juts chakra through the chosen people and releases them from genjutsu, as well as the user.

Name: Doton: Doryūkatsu (Earth Style: Earth Flow Divide
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Requirements:
Description: By flowing one's chakra into the Dragon Veins (龍脈, Ryūmyaku) flowing underground, one can tear the earth apart, creating large chasms. The length, width, direction, and curve of the chasm are all up to the user. Manipulating the Dragon Veins requires fine chakra control, but if one has such skill, they can use this technique to divide the space between the enemy and their own team in two, destroy enemy camps or defenses, and even to attack.

Name: Genjutsu Break
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Requirements: Genjutsu or Ijutsu Specialist: C/A rank; Genjutsu, Ijutsu or Ninjutsu Major: B/S rank; Others: A/SS rank
Description: This is an advanced skill for breaking genjutsu, however, no shinobi should be without it. It allows one to break illusions without hurting themselves, does not require any hand seals and works against stronger techniques than Kai. Since every genjutsu in essence is the opponent confusing one's five senses by interfering with their chakra flow in a specific way, momentarily stopping your chakra flow completely and then reversing it, which is what this skill is about, can break theoretically any illusion. Naturally, one's skill in controlling their chakra determines how well this will work.
Allows one to break a genjutsu of S rank or below. For the lower rank characters, genjutsu of A rank or below take one whole post to break, while genjutsu of S rank take two posts. For higher rank characters, genjutsu of A and S rank take a whole post to break, while genjutsu of B rank and below take half a post. Kinjutsu genjutsu require twice as much time, though only higher rank characters can break A rank kinjutsu, and none can break S rank kinjutsu.

Name: Flower Petal Dissolve
Type: Genjutsu - visual
Rank: A
Requirements: None/Genjutsu Specialist
Description: This genjutsu can be used in two ways. The first and more common one is putting it on a target, which will make them think they are falling apart into flower petals. If this technique succeeds, the target will temporarily lose consciouness in reality. The second option is to counter another illusionary technique, but it requires a lot of skill in the discipline to be used this way. It will not free the user from a genjutsu, though it may free them from some of its effects like being unable to move while inside the genjutsu, but will still put their opponent into one of their own. To the opponent, it will seem like the user dissolved into flower petals and disappeared.

Name: Utakata - Ephemeral
Type: Genjutsu - visual
Rank: S
Requirements: None
Description: A high-level genjutsu that gives the user a lot of control over what their target will be seeing. Practically, it gives them full control over the reality of the illusion. In reality, the target will not be moving from the spot, whatever they are experiencing being entirely illusionary and having no reflection in reality. However, this illusion can still be dispelled the same way as most others.

Name: Kokuangyou no Jutsu - Journey into Black Darkness Technique
Type: Genjutsu - visual
Rank: S
Requirements: Genjutsu Specialist
Description: This strong genjutsu completely negates the target's sight, making them unable to see anything but themselves and their clones, the rest is covered in complete darkness. The user is able to act freely while this genjutsu is in effect, making it one of the most powerful illusionary techniques in existence. This genjutsu can be dispelled if the user's chakra flow is disrupted somehow.







Bloodline jutsus:

Jutsus you want to Learn:

more genjutsu








Missions Completed:
D-Rank:2
C-Rank:1
B-Rank:0
A-Rank:0
S-Rank:0

Background:

From Childhood To Genin
Nikko Coloso was born of Kairo and Mai Coloso. You can tell if one is a Coloso because of their distinctive white Kanji tattoos on each shoulder. Its tradition that the first born son, bear the same tattoo as his father on his left shoulder. If the fathers left shoulder says "wise" then the first born son's shoulder will be tatted wise, etc. A first born daughter will take the tattoo of the father from his right shoulder.  This wasn't always a tradition, which was only recently thought up two generations before Nikko. Reason for it being, Kairo's father was seperated from his father because of the first great ninja war.

Kairo's father seen the sadness and fear in Kairo's eyes before he went to fight in the first great ninja war between Konoha and Otogakure. He came up with the idea that before he leaves for war, Kairo's mother will tattoo each of them so all three of their spirits will be connected and help him fight the war for the ones he love. Kairo agreed, and his mother attached metal spikes closely together with wood, that way she could hammer down the spikes after dipping them with white ink. The father chose the "Live" kanji tattoo for his left shoulder, his main arm. Kairo got the same tattoo because he felt it will connect their spirits. Kairo's father, allowed his wife to choose a tattoo for him that way their spirits could be connected because on the battlefield he will remember that his lovely wife was the one who gave him that tattoo and thus her spirit is with him strengthening him. All the while, these tattoos will keep his moral and hopes up no matter what the conditions, he had the Will of Fire deeply embedded into his spirit. After Kairo seen his mother tattoo "Wise" on his father's other shoulder, he insisted that his mother choose a tattoo for his right shoulder as well. Impressed by his notion, she tatted "Spirited". Kairo's father left for war, and was never seen again, but his fathers words stood by him always "Live Wise". Thus he decided to continue this tradition onto his wife and children.

Mugemi Coloso was the first born daughter and Kairo and Mai's first child. Continuing the tradition of Kairo's grandfather, she got his tattoo "Spirited" on her right shoulder, and her mother chose "Free" for her left shoulder, which together, they felt, completely described her in the simplest manner. She was born a couple of years before the second great ninja war, and after playing 'kunoichi' outside would ask, "How did Konoha get like this?" Thinking of a way to dumb down the answer, the words "Live Wise" appeared in his head, thus he lied saying it was an earthquake, feeling no need to corrupt her mind with hate.

Nikko was born about 6 years after her, and had got his tattoos "Live Brave" left then right. By the time he was old enough to speak, Mugemi was a genin who lived through Otogakure's second assault, and she was a witness to the Hokage mountain being detroyed, up close and personal. Her grandpa's Will of Fire embedded in her, she applied for ANBU feeling a strong dedication to protect whoever was the new Hokage until Ky Inuzaka returned. She was denied by the Hokage, Renima, and it caused her to leave the village "to become a more formidable, more worthy kunoichi". There was no use for Kairo or Mai talking her out of it. When she made up her mind, there's nothing you could say to change it, she really lived up to her familiarized symbols "Free Spirited."

Saddened by Mugemi leaving, Nikko worked harder than ever in the student academy and he went from the bottom of his class to the top. Soon after graduating Academy, Renima died of unknown conditions, and was replaced by Inuzuka Tamotsu. However, he left to pursue his own goals shortly after, leaving Tachibana Ukyo in his place as the 9th Hokage. With a new Hokage, he feels dedicated on finding his sister to bring her the news of the new Hokage thats looking after the Konoha. Although he fears that word gets around quick and that she might have already heard the news. So he wondered why she hasn't returned. Is it still a sense of her feeling not as strong as she wants to be? Or is it, the news of the Hokage position being non-stable affected her in some way. Nikko feared the most that she had been caught up with the wrong people, or even worse, dead. Luckily with the sudden change of Hokage's, her name became unimportant in the bingo book and isn't regarded as a missing-nin, yet.

After she left, there was a different aura to his family. Kairo, Mai, and Nikko felt as if part of their spirit was torn when Megumi left. When Nikko feels he's capable, he wants to leave the village to pursue his sister, and if he felt he needed to, bring her back to Konoha.  

One day after a training session, he fell backwards out of exhaustion, and he looked up into the clouds. They shifted without a breeze. The clouds clearly resembled a dragons face looking down on him, and for some reason, he couldn't look away, his eyes were transfixed on the image in the sky. He watched the dragon open its mouth, and there was a gust of wind blowing towards the south, and as the gust hit the sound, the cloud's color changed to a distinct yellow. And the wind dispersed the dragon's face to a vague image of what it used to be. (See picture below)

Spoiler:



Something told him to lock that symbol in his memories. Almost a week later, he was about to walk into his house, but paused for a moment, he heard a familiar voice through the bottom crack of the door. A women's voice saying, "Because of the celestial order, I've grown in ways you couldn't imagine-," Nikko flung open the door, "Megumi?!" to see his sister finally home sitting at the dinner table with his parents. He couldn't help but run to her and hold her tightly as she giggled. Her beauty radiated the room, her light brown hair was one giant braid that hung sown to her waist, and her bangs were shorter in the middle, and hung down to her cheek at each end. Her silky brown hair brought out her skin tone in such a way words couldn't explain it. Her smile as lovely as they come. She wore a light gray jacket, very similar to Konoha's jounin vest in terms of pockets and shape, but it had a light gray symbol on its upper left shoulder. The white ink "Free Spirited" added a sense to her elegance against her tan skin.

They sat down, and immediatly began catching up, telling Megumi the situation of the Hokage's and status of the villages. She stated she already knew, and wasn't here for that. She explained the celestial order, and what they stand for, and how she was picked and trained by a member of the order, in exchange for her agreement to become a guardian. They were traveling in between villages, when her partner was told of a new prophet coming to light. When she asked where, he answered Konoha. After she was taught everything he could teach her about the organization, and as a kunoichi, she was told that she should visit there alone, find the prophet, and protect him, for he is directly connected to the cloud dragon as he is. He opened a scroll, and a light gray jacket containing the celestial orders mark appeared as yellow, "When you find him give him this," she pulled out the jacket and seen the familiar enigma. It was the face of the dragon he had seen in the clouds, "Go to it, it is yours. Embrace it and cherish it my little prophet,"  an unfamiliar voice echoed in his head.

Mesmerized he walked over to it, his sister calmly watched him snatch it from her hand and put it on, as he did for a split second his eyes flashed yellow, as if the essence of the color flew from left to right, starting with the left side of his left eye ending at the right side of his right eye. From that moment on, Megumi knew he was the prophet she was searching for, and her task, to help and protect him in times of need.

With Megumi home, Nikko had a new sense of direction. He no longer needed to grow stronger to find his sister, but instead he was ordered by the cloud dragon to get stronger if he were to successfully carry out his orders during his times of need.

The Chuunin Exams Arc
During the first portion of the chuunin exams, Nikko had made the first encounter with a genjutsu user that was stronger in the trade than he was, Tori Uchiha. Only minutes had passed since the exams started is when his battle with the Uchiha ensued. There illusions raged on combating against each other, but at the time Nikko hadn't known about the sharingan and lost within its sight. Disappointed and feeling a mix of emotions, and a katana pressed against his throat, he declared Tori Uchiha his rival. Still he pressed onwards with the exam, and after passing each phase, rightfully earned the title.

Since the Chuunin Exams were held in the 'Land of Shadow' near Kumogakure, the famous island resort Kokorogakure was not too many ways away. He decided he would visit there as a reward to his acknowledgment of being an efficient shinobi.

Wild encounters in Kokorogakure
Nikko not only displayed his skills as a shinobi, but in this town, he also demonstrated his musical capabilities and gathered a large crowd around his ryuteki and the melodic howls of Goukimaru. Among the crowd was the famous Amegaki and his pet-nin Kuromaru. Nikko had impressed him during the chuunin exams and so they approached him. The conversation led to them offering to train Nikko, and he gladly accepted, and proved himself through a set of short tasks.

That same night he was called upon the Great Cloud Dragon once again, advising him to follow Amegaki for he was bound for great things, and to train under him for another chance to fight Tori Uchiha. Nikko heeded his words, and the next day seen Tori Uchiha walking through the resort. He challenged him, Tori accepted, and another battle of illusions ensued. Nikko wanted to use this encounter to find out how much stronger Tori had become and to test his levels, but in the end, Tori managed to surprise Nikko once again. Even though Nikko was using genjutsu at the highest levels, Tori still managed to fight back with his own illusions as well with the aid of the sharingan, but this time Nikko saw it as an advantage, and took note about everything that the sharingan had done. With this new information, although at the end of the match Nikko had fallen to his knees while Tori was still capable of standing, he saw this encounter as a victory, for it was only a stepping stone to unlock greater strength.
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Roleplaying Characters:
Otamai, Jun
Nikko Coloso
Ikego Yokosuka
Noko-ido, Minari
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Genin/S-Chuunin/S-Jounin/D-rank-Erank missing nin
Village: Kirigakure/Konohagakure/Iwagakure/Missing
Fame: 558/690/223/0
Reputation:
Training Points: 5605
Inventory:

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Last edited by jyuuken01 on Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:47 pm; edited 21 times in total
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OzanaruSyra
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, less problems this time around.

1. Fairly tall and heavy for a 12 year old, don't you think?
2. Specify which one of your fighting styles is a major and which is a minor.
3. Both of your SA must be trained for in a topic. Thus, can't start with them.
4. You don't get that Doton jutsu.

Roleplaying Characters:
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Shinobi Rank:
Village: Kirigakure No Sato
Fame: 5000
Reputation:
Training Points: 3375
Inventory: Nezic Hsm, Vorcrist, 5x Tekagi, Katana, Weapon Scroll, Chain, Daggers

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

fixed.
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Roleplaying Characters:
Otamai, Jun
Nikko Coloso
Ikego Yokosuka
Noko-ido, Minari
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Genin/S-Chuunin/S-Jounin/D-rank-Erank missing nin
Village: Kirigakure/Konohagakure/Iwagakure/Missing
Fame: 558/690/223/0
Reputation:
Training Points: 5605
Inventory:

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your history is more of an RP Sample than a History, and your Personality could use alot of work, I don't want to scare you off, but I do mean it, can you flesh out personality, don't worry so much about the history, that is alot more work, though if you feel up to it, you can always try to make it into a history, over being an RP Sample.
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Roleplaying Characters:
Otori, Shizuka Miyu
Ava Kimera
Amimura, Jato
Sampson, Ashe
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: SS Judge-A Chuunin-E Genin-S Chuunin
Village: Missing-Kumogakure-Iwagakure-Kirigakure
Fame: 2,565~0~200~0
Reputation:
Training Points: 2931
Inventory: 10 Senbon, 10 Kunai, 3 Blank Scrolls, and 1 Peice of Chalk -

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My English teacher always taught me 'show dont tell' so thats how i write my histories. In the show theres always an event or two that changes a shinobi's life or has a story of their bloodline. but since you gotta make a whole bloodline theme in like a whole different thread and wait for that to get approved too, my history juss has a simple event from what he thought was an average family. so in my history i juss 'show' that event and not 'tell' it...

example events include
- sasuke's family massacre
-yondaime sealing the fox in naruto
-Haku killing his family and meeting Zabuza
-Kimimaru
-Sakura realizes she cant do anything to help her friends
-Lee being made fun of in the ninja academy, thus turning his motive into proving the world he could be an excellent ninja without ninjutsu and genjutsu,
- etc...can u see the point im trying to make?

so i consider that a history, and at the same time i see why you're saying its an rp sample, but to me its still a history, and i kinda like it that way XD

...ughhh and i honeestly dont kno what else to put for personality...i kno its not long but that pretty much nails him.
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Roleplaying Characters:
Otamai, Jun
Nikko Coloso
Ikego Yokosuka
Noko-ido, Minari
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Genin/S-Chuunin/S-Jounin/D-rank-Erank missing nin
Village: Kirigakure/Konohagakure/Iwagakure/Missing
Fame: 558/690/223/0
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Training Points: 5605
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

for personality try putting the way he feels during fighting?
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Roleplaying Characters:
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RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Rank Ganin (Kumo)/ ,D-rank Genin(Kono)-E-Rank genin(Kumo)-S-Rank chuunin(Kono)
Village: None
Fame: 5-10-0-0
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Training Points: 445
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Ari Phoenix
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I'll give you an idea of what you can do.
You can list how he is in certain situations, you can describe in what ways he is the way he is, such as how is he hyper, how hyper is he? that kind of thing.

Or you can just fill it up a little bit more with some sort of thing such as his favorite saying.
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OzanaruSyra
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jyuuken01 wrote:
My English teacher always taught me 'show dont tell' so thats how i write my histories. In the show theres always an event or two that changes a shinobi's life or has a story of their bloodline. but since you gotta make a whole bloodline theme in like a whole different thread and wait for that to get approved too, my history juss has a simple event from what he thought was an average family. so in my history i juss 'show' that event and not 'tell' it...

so i consider that a history, and at the same time i see why you're saying its an rp sample, but to me its still a history, and i kinda like it that way XD

...ughhh and i honeestly dont kno what else to put for personality...i kno its not long but that pretty much nails him.


You're English teacher explained it to you wrong, or they were dumb; most of them are. A history is not a fictional piece whatsoever. It is supposed to resemble non-fiction. And in resembling non-fiction, you are to describe with the utmost detail and in third person.

Oh, and the show instead of telling rule does not work for everything. It's based in the purpose, ALWAYS.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

-.-* well...he IS only a fictionary character summed up from the depths of my imagination... how can a non-fictional history come from a fictional character?

"A history is not a fictional piece whatsoever." -False! cuz it can be. it can be a myth, legend or a folktale as well.

and ima get right on the personality, thanks for the suggestions
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

>.> Don't quote half of what I said. I'm trying to teach you something about good writing here.

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